So, Aaron Burr’s killed the cursed Alexander Hamilton
And I was losing sleep on choosing how the heck I’d handle him
A Ham has passed, raise a glass, A Burr has passed into disgrace
This Founding Father needn’t bother with a re-election race
The scandal’s yours, Aaron Burr serves as your vice-president
I hate his soul, and people hold that truth to be self-evident
What happened to departing, you and I to Monticello?
The capital’s just starting; you and I just said hello
Now I must teach and sometimes preach virtues of less government
From you? Tom dear, in four years, you have hardly under-spent
On Barbary warring and men exploring all the land you bought from France
In my second term I reckon belts will tighten on our pants
Under my hand, the public can reap pluses of Republicans
Under your nose, the public knows you do things because you can
Like those you smudged as “midnight judges” because they were Adams’ men
Oh that again? Well not again, thanks Marbury versus Madison
Our dollar droops while French and English troops collect their forces
Americans are scared, aware they couldn’t bear to now change horses
Sally, I can’t say good-bye to them with things so heady
They’re ready/They’re not ready
Look at the papers, their grievings, they are petty
They’re ready/They’re not ready
They don’t understand the tariffs that we levy

If you want four years more I’m sure you could outlaw the trade
Of human beings, think what that means! Never import another slave
They’re not ready.
WHAT?
Let me…Sally, I mean the Senate
And the House still count and count on slavery and won’t end it
But you’re ready?
Yes.
Then let me. Tom, you got strange notions
I’ll speak frankly. You send Yankee troops across the oceans
And out west, at your behest, Lewis and Clark cross the nation
To civilize what to my eyes, was already civilization
Why’d Bonaparte choose to part with half the continent?
He found surprising Haiti’s uprising, and his soldiers went --
Toussaint Louverture followed your words, became a hero
How many black Haitians got your invitations? I count zero
You should know brown people know more of life, not less
You have four yourself.
Sally, I’m impressed.
So were our merchants, so I turned our ships to Tripoli
And Lewis west after his test year studying with me
Education for our nation, you forgot my best point
I established military scholarship at West Point
Haiti’s crazy, show me a library or university
Brown-skins like our kids read things, then converse with me
It wasn’t my skin tone, but my school tomes that bred me
They’re ready/They’re not ready
Indians and Arabs need lessons that are heavy
They’re ready/They’re not ready
Hard to read when your back’s all sweaty

All right, Mister Uptight Enlightenment Erudition
Just recall not all the colonists can pay all that tuition
And if the Congress and your Cabinet officers are so smart
Why, behind my back, do they attack me as your tart?
Or a concubine? Tom with your sublime power you could summon
Them to read the Vindication of the Rights of Woman
Give us the vote and then you’ll note a different oversight
Nice plan! I’m just one man, who can’t change Congress overnight
You wrote life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness
Were you playing? Is that saying just for your landed friends?
Why bother with Founding Fathers and this new democracy
If you run the country like some aristocracy?
If you’re sure you’ll run once more – look at me Thomas –
I’m sure I’ll take, and you can make, a quite makeable promise
Ban the slave trade. Tom, no shade; twas four years past
That Congress passed a law that de-classed slave traders, at last
And forbade our citizens to be paid by slaver ships
That’s a lot!
And now this lot needs naught but leadership
Ban the slave trade.
Sally, no shade, if we end the trade
Plantation owners will stone and whip their slaves
And make them make more children, and before you know what for
South and North rancor goes forth and leads to civil war
Ban the slave trade.
Our democracy’s so fragile
Give us more years, our younger peers will be more agile
Ban the slave trade. For our children.
I know they’re ready
But Congress and the public only just learned to rock steady
Ban the slave trade.
Sally I see where you’ve led me!
They’re ready/They’re not ready
And if I don’t, will history regret me?
They’re ready/They’re not ready
Oh heaven I don’t believe in will you help me?
They’re ready.